january 30, 2010 ~ saturday
there was this "grateful" feeling enveloping me when i was praying. i was thanking God for giving and blessing us with James Benedict. i remembered "that" feeling when i did the test and I was almost screaming when i told Ruben it was positive. the joy we (Ruben, JP and i) feel whenever we feel James kick from inside my tummy.
yes, there are times when i feel the stab in my heart knowing that we can lose James anytime. yes, i cry every time i think about the pain he has been through since he was born on Christmas day.
i have been to that point when i was already bargaining some years from the Lord... to lend James Benedict to us for a few years... that He would allow us to let James Benedict feel some loving, experience the happiness of having a family so that he would know how it is to be without pain.
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